Divorce is a huge milestone in life that is emotionally charged and often can cause you to lose your composure. Once all the dust has settled from your divorce it is time to take small steps each day to take your life back into your own hands. It is time to forge a new path and create new habits that allow you to live your life to the fullest.Read More
Late life or “silver” divorce is becoming more common than ever. According to the National Center for family and marriage research at Bowling State Green University in Ohio, in 2014 people age 50 and above were twice as likely to go through a divorce in 1990. There are many reasons why people in this particular age range are making such a big life change later in life. One thing that is clear is a lot changed since the Baby Boomers starting getting married which has led to a higher amount of silver divorces.Read More
If you have ever had a pet before you can recall the sense of unconditional love and affection they bring into your life. Children often bond special relationships with their pets and this often comes in handy during traumatic life experiences like a divorce. Having a pet around your children and family during a divorce is proven to have great emotional benefits.Read More
As divorce specialists, we hear a lot of similar questions that many clients ask when initially starting the divorce process. We have created a list of the top 8 common divorce questions we hear on a daily basis that will clarify some of the steps and aspects of the divorce process. Most of the cases we handle are uncontested meaning both parties are in agreement to get the divorce.Read More
10 Ways to Defeat Divorce and Find Peace
Divorce is not the end but the beginning of a new start and in order to get through this obstacle life has thrown your way we have crafted 10 ways to help overcome your divorce and find peace. This is a learning process about building back who you are as a person and leaving your old life in the rearview. This process isn’t easy but at the end of the day you are creating a brighter and happier future for yourself. Read More
Tips to Help Ease the Pain or Confusion Divorce Presents
- Consistency is key. Be a reliable resource for your kids, whether they need to talk, need help with a school project, or just want you to attend their next soccer game. Children need to feel they are well cared for, and the best way to show that is by reliably having their back. Even if it’s not your weekend with the kids, or you think your ex can handle things on their own, make sure your children know that you are always present if they need something.
- Smother with love and support. Now is the time to openly and emphatically express your love for your children. Remind them how loved they are with both words and actions. Do something special for them: quality time away from home can help take their minds off the stress of their parents’ separation.
- Equal time with both parents. In order to be fair to your children, both parents deserve equal time if they are both an active part of the child’s life. If at all possible, children will appreciate getting the same amount of time and involvement from both their parents.
- Be empathetic about their grief. Expect a range of emotions, and be prepared to handle any reaction your child might throw at you. Reassure kids that the divorce is not their fault – after all, they didn’t choose it or have a say in it. And because they did not choose this divorce, you will not judge them for any feelings they have about it.
- Letting your kids choose who to live with? If so, don’t make them feel guilty. It’s a tough situation if you are not the parent your kids choose to live with, but it’s important to respect your child’s decision. On the other hand, if you are the chosen parent, do not under any circumstances rub it in your ex’s face.
- Never use your kids as pawns. Whatever you do, do not use your children against your ex, ask them to get information about your ex, or try in any way to negatively affect their relationship with their other parent. Do not expect them to take sides or be a spy for you. If you try to damage your child’s bond with your ex, you’ll end up poisoning your own bond with your child in the long run.
- Love your kids more than you hate your ex. Yes, your ex is your ex for a reason, but you two will be tied as long as you have children together. No matter how strong your emotions about your ex may be, just remember how much greater and more powerful your love for your children is. There is no reason that you can’t prioritize your children’s feelings above your own’s.
- Be honest. It’s important to be frank with your children during the divorce process. This doesn’t mean telling them the sordid details of why your marriage ended. It means making sure they understand the reality of the divorce and how it will affect their day-to-day lives. You know your kids better than anyone; consider their age and maturity level when deciding how much to reveal about why you and your ex are separating.
- Be civil with your ex. This is one of those pieces of advice that’s easier said than done, but it’s in the best interest of your children and your family. It’s in your best interest, too – letting go of anger at your ex will help you stop focusing on the past and on your regrets.
- Always keep your promises. Don’t make unrealistic promises or let your kids hope for things that won’t happen. It can be hard to tell your kids that you can’t see them as often as they want, or that you can’t keep living in your old house, but being honest with them now is better than letting them down later. If you have to break a promise you made during the divorce process, acknowledge it and apologize.
The Big Talk with Your Kids
Even if you feel positive about your decision to divorce, you’re probably dreading telling your children. Nobody enjoys telling kids that their parents are getting a divorce, even when everyone in the family agrees that it’s for the best. Be prepared for your children to be very distressed by this news, or for them to be less upset than you are. In other words, you have to be ready for any possible reaction from your children. These simple tips should take the dread out of the ‘big talk’ and help you prepare answers to your kids’ tricky questions.Read More
Parenting Tips for Divorced Couples
Divorce is a major life change for every couple, but if you and your spouse have children together, you may feel like your divorce is extra complicated. Child-raising can’t be an afterthought in the decisions you make about your divorce; your spouse is probably going to be a big part of your life until your children become adults. Co-parenting after divorce can be challenging, but it doesn’t have to be painful. There are just as many good parenting strategies for divorced couples as there are for married ones. Of course, every divorce is unique in its own way, but there are some general rules that will help any couple raise happy kids after they split up.Read More