10 Ways to Make Divorce Easier for Kids

Posted by Brooke M.
way to make divorce easier for kids

Tips to Help Ease the Pain or Confusion Divorce Presents

  1. Consistency is key. Be a reliable resource for your kids, whether they need to talk, need help with a school project, or just want you to attend their next soccer game. Children need to feel they are well cared for, and the best way to show that is by reliably having their back. Even if it’s not your weekend with the kids, or you think your ex can handle things on their own, make sure your children know that you are always present if they need something.
  2. Smother with love and support. Now is the time to openly and emphatically express your love for your children. Remind them how loved they are with both words and actions. Do something special for them: quality time away from home can help take their minds off the stress of their parents’ separation.
  3. Equal time with both parents. In order to be fair to your children, both parents deserve equal time if they are both an active part of the child’s life. If at all possible, children will appreciate getting the same amount of time and involvement from both their parents.
  4. Be empathetic about their grief. Expect a range of emotions, and be prepared to handle any reaction your child might throw at you. Reassure kids that the divorce is not their fault – after all, they didn’t choose it or have a say in it. And because they did not choose this divorce, you will not judge them for any feelings they have about it.
  5. Letting your kids choose who to live with? If so, don’t make them feel guilty. It’s a tough situation if you are not the parent your kids choose to live with, but it’s important to respect your child’s decision. On the other hand, if you are the chosen parent, do not under any circumstances rub it in your ex’s face.
  6. Never use your kids as pawns. Whatever you do, do not use your children against your ex, ask them to get information about your ex, or try in any way to negatively affect their relationship with their other parent. Do not expect them to take sides or be a spy for you. If you try to damage your child’s bond with your ex, you’ll end up poisoning your own bond with your child in the long run.
  7. Love your kids more than you hate your ex. Yes, your ex is your ex for a reason, but you two will be tied as long as you have children together. No matter how strong your emotions about your ex may be, just remember how much greater and more powerful your love for your children is. There is no reason that you can’t prioritize your children’s feelings above your own’s.
  8. Be honest. It’s important to be frank with your children during the divorce process. This doesn’t mean telling them the sordid details of why your marriage ended. It means making sure they understand the reality of the divorce and how it will affect their day-to-day lives. You know your kids better than anyone; consider their age and maturity level when deciding how much to reveal about why you and your ex are separating.
  9. Be civil with your ex. This is one of those pieces of advice that’s easier said than done, but it’s in the best interest of your children and your family. It’s in your best interest, too – letting go of anger at your ex will help you stop focusing on the past and on your regrets.
  10. Always keep your promises. Don’t make unrealistic promises or let your kids hope for things that won’t happen. It can be hard to tell your kids that you can’t see them as often as they want, or that you can’t keep living in your old house, but being honest with them now is better than letting them down later. If you have to break a promise you made during the divorce process, acknowledge it and apologize.

How to Tell Kids You’re Getting Divorced

Posted by Brooke M.
telling kids you're getting divorce

The Big Talk with Your Kids

Even if you feel positive about your decision to divorce, you’re probably dreading telling your children. Nobody enjoys telling kids that their parents are getting a divorce, even when everyone in the family agrees that it’s for the best. Be prepared for your children to be very distressed by this news, or for them to be less upset than you are. In other words, you have to be ready for any possible reaction from your children. These simple tips should take the dread out of the ‘big talk’ and help you prepare answers to your kids’ tricky questions.Read More

6 Tips to Deal with Divorce Grief

Posted by Brooke M.
manage divorce grief

Be Understanding of YOU: Allowing Yourself to Grieve is Important

Divorce and grief go hand and hand, but it’s important to understand that this is not the “new normal”, although you will likely experience it for a period of time. Some people bounce back quickly and some take much longer – both of these are fine.  Be understanding to yourself.  You will come out okay.

Grief isn’t just one emotion – it’s many and goes through many stages including denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance according to pioneers Kubler & Ross who put forth this idea decades ago.  When getting divorced, you are essentially watching an aspect of yourself fade away, so it goes without saying that grief is a natural outcome.  Read More

10 Do’s and Don’ts of Divorce

Posted by Brooke M.
dos and donts of divorce

Tips to Minimize the Impact of Divorce

The decision to divorce usually isn’t a pleasant one, but there are ways to keep your dignity and create a path for future happiness during the process.  As high profile divorce attorney Laura Wasser says of the divorce process:  “it is very important to remember three key things: Be kind, be reasonable, be brief. Remember that this person will no longer be your spouse, but he or she will continue to be your co-parent, family member, and perhaps business partner in certain assets or entities.”

There are key ways to minimize negative impact of divorce on you and your family which really boil down to each party respecting the other.  Here, our team has compiled ways to facilitate a divorce as quickly and with little stress as possible.Read More

Should You Get Divorced?

Posted by Brooke M.
Should you get divorced

6 Considerations Before You Pull the Plug

Divorce is one of the major stressful life events, right up there with death of a loved one, a major illness or losing a job. It’s clearly a big decision to decide whether you should or should not get divorced. Our team has compiled a list of things to consider—with or without your spouse to help evaluate whether to part or to work it out. Read More