So you just got divorced and you’re newly single and you are thinking, now what? Dealing with a loss like divorce is not an easy task and getting back into the dating pool can be overwhelming. There are ways to ease this process and actually make it a new exciting experience in your life. In order to adjust to the single life we have 5 tips to make this transition as smooth as possible and help you create an identity for yourself which will hopefully lead you to a spouse that better suits you.
- First things first it is important to get to know yourself again before jumping back into dating. Your spouse usually helps shape your preferences and there are probably certain things you may have sacrificed for them. Re-discover who you are as an individual by redefining your likes and dislikes. Find out who you are without your spouse and you will be surprised to discover all that you had to compromise while being married.
- Secondly, you must allow time to heal all the wounds you have incurred through your marriage and divorce. Many therapists recommend waiting for 1 year before trying to jump into another relationship. Other therapists believe that you can start dating whenever you feel ready and there is no necessary time limit associated with that. Some people need longer than a year in order to feel grounded and at peace with the situation. At the end of the day you may never be completely over the situation but that is because it is a life experience and it becomes part of the fabric of what you have overcome.
- The next tip to help your adjustment is to make new friends and build a new network. When a divorce happens that often means the network you have built together with your spouse will more than likely be lost. Friends start to take sides and often married couples might get distant because it is different to hang around with a single person. Seek other single friends with common ground that way you have friends in the same position as you with insight and understanding. Having people to talk to can help with your coping and give you some new perception.
- Always remember to enjoy yourself while going through this new life change. Life will be different but that does not mean it can’t be rewarding and fun. Relish in your new freedom and do things you haven’t been able to do while being with your spouse. Take this time to be a little selfish by living on your own terms. Spending time alone will allow you to start appreciating your own company which will help you build a foundation for a better relationship in the future.
- The final tip for making the transition from married to single would be to take things slow and steady. This is not a race between your ex to see who can get re-married first or who has the better life. The best advice would be to not start dating until you are ready. Always remember to be yourself and avoid putting yourself in uncomfortable situations. A divorce has the ability to be a liberating experience if you allow it. You can re-discover who you are and allow you to find someone who brings out the best parts of you.