8 Tips On Having a Handle On Your Divorce

Posted by Brooke M.

Divorce is a huge milestone in life that is emotionally charged and often can cause you to lose your composure. Once all the dust has settled from your divorce it is time to take small steps each day to take your life back into your own hands. It is time to forge a new path and create new habits that allow you to live your life to the fullest.

  1. Feel your emotions but don’t let them control your life. It is important to be aware that those feelings are temporary and not letting negative thoughts interfere with your everyday life.  You allow yourself to feel emotions and you should expect some days to be harder than others. The last thing you want to do is avoid your emotions by masking them with alcohol, drugs or a rebound romance. This is a period you should be reflecting and learning lessons from your past to build a brighter future. 
  2. Continue to focus on the positive. Despite the unfortunate end of your marriage you know there is so much more to life. You see this change as an opportunity to grow as a person. You are beginning to look at the bright side of things again and are much more optimistic towards your future. 
  3. You can talk about your divorce without ranting about it. There is a big difference between venting and ranting, a clear sign you are getting over the divorce hump is the fact you aren’t talking about it.  You are bound to have your bad days and you should surround yourself with people who support you no matter what. Talking about your divorce can actually be therapeutic because it allows you to work through your emotions and release tension.
  4. You don’t let divorce get inbetween the relationship with your ex and your children. You love your kids more than you hate your ex, simple as that. You do not want to taint the relationship your children have with their other parent and at the end of the day your children’s happiness is your priority.
  5. Sticking to a healthy routine. If you aren’t doing so already, start going to the gym, enjoying a weekly class, or picking up a new hobby you enjoy. This will help bring a sense of structure in your life that creates stability, which will help you build your new regime. Most importantly a healthy routine will make you feel good about yourself which is a rewarding feeling.
  6. Be gentle with yourself. You shouldn’t rush the healing process and you need to work at your own rate to determine when you are feeling “back to normal” again. Each person heals differently so don’t knock yourself down if you feel you should be over it by now. Slow things down and nurture yourself, in doing this you will be able to create a better future for yourself. Take the time you need to process all the changes that have occurred. 
  7. You know you aren’t a failure just because you got divorced. There is no correlation between your failed marriage with your character. You are aware that things didn’t work out but you do not beat yourself up about it. It’s beneficial to use your divorce as a learning experience and apply this new insight towards your future relationships.
  8. You are moving forward with your life. Last and most importantly, life goes on and you are moving forward with a bright outlook on your future. You make small steps each day to work towards your new normal and you rarely if ever look into your rearview.

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