Your Opportunity to Create a New Path
In an ideal world, every divorce would be mutual, with both parties agreeing it was the best option for them. Unfortunately, divorce isn’t always mutual, and it’s hard being the person who wanted to make the marriage work. If your spouse is no longer willing to invest the time and energy needed to maintain your relationship, you need to accept the reality that your marriage is over. You cannot force someone to stay in a marriage, as tempting as the idea may be – you owe it to yourself to move forward with dignity after an unwanted divorce.
The first thing to remember is: you are worthy, and you still deserve good things! If your spouse has mentioned wanting a divorce, and you don’t feel the same way, it can leave you with shattered self-esteem. It’s common to feel that there’s something wrong with you, but the reality is that plenty of amazing people have had their marriages end. Your partner wanting a divorce reflects on the state of your marriage, not on you. Divorce is not the end of your love life – it’s a new beginning that allows you to find someone who will stick with you through thick and thin. Even if you’re not ready to move on and start dating again, you still need to remember your self-worth. Negativity, grieving and self-doubt is bound to happen, but do not let these thoughts consume you.
Acceptance is a necessary step for you to come to peace with your divorce and start moving forward. As the saying goes, you need to accept the things you cannot change, and you cannot change your partner’s feelings. You may not have wanted your marriage to end, but staying in denial will not make it any easier. Once you accept the reality of your divorce, you can start to plan a new life and create a more positive outlook. Reducing contact with your spouse and removing reminders of your old life with them might be necessary for you to move on.
The end of a marriage is almost never one-sided, and divorce can be a valuable opportunity to assess your behavior in relationships. Take responsibility for your role in ending your marriage, whatever it may be. Rather than beat yourself up over your mistakes, think constructively about how you can avoid them in your next relationship. Make peace with the past and try to picture a better future. This is the time to work through anger – whether at yourself or at your spouse.
Use this pivotal moment in your life as an opportunity to create a new path. Pursue an interest you otherwise wouldn’t have with your spouse. Set achievable goals for yourself, work on your self-esteem, and enjoy your new found freedom as much as you can. This may be the end of your marriage, but it is not the end of your life. If you use this difficult time to focus on self-improvement, you may bounce back sooner than you think – with happier, healthier relationships in the future.