Handling Relationships After Divorce

Posted by Brooke M.

If you have been married for a while and you are newly divorced the dating world can be an intimidating place. There are so many different platforms out there allowing you to connect with local singles including dating apps, online dating sites and networking events. Now that you are ready to find love again or at least start testing the waters there are some important tips to keep in mind.    

Avoid similar patterns and beware of red flags

It is easy to fall into a relationship with similar patterns as your last relationship, therefore it is important to avoid the same mistakes you have made in your past. In order to make sure you are not falling into the same pattern you need to understand why your last relationship was not successful. There are signs to look out for in the early stages of a relationship that reveal how that person might be once the honeymoon stage is over. According to Care Unlimited, a domestic violence program, if a person is pushing you to be exclusive or meet your family on the second or third date that can be a red flag for abusive behavior. If they are starting to isolate you from your friends or family that can be another red flag for abusive behavior.  

Communication is the key

Most failed relationships lack communication so it is important you don’t let things fester. Letting small little annoyances build up usually become a bigger problem at the end of the day. Festering small problems causes anger and resentment that leads to turmoil in a relationship which is never a good thing. Many failed marriages lack direct communication and honesty which is an important to have a successful relationship.

Be prepared for anything

When it comes to dating it is smart to be prepared for anything. I tend to live by the quote “hope for the best but be prepared for the worse” especially when it comes to putting yourself out there in different dating scenarios. In order to make sure you are prepared to start dating it is best to have been split from your ex for at least 6 months, but preferably 1-2 years. Dating too soon can hurt your chances to date successfully and hinder your own personal growth from the divorce. During the dating process you should expect rejection at one point or another because it is bound to happen. You might be wondering why your date never followed up and feel let down. If someone wants to spend time with you they will make it happen.

Feel comfortable about yourself

Like anything in life, practice makes perfect; the more you date the more comfortable you will feel about yourself. Most therapists suggest that you dip into the dating pool before diving into something serious. A dysfunctional marriage has the ability warp your idea of what a successful relationship should be; if you are still healing from a breakup start with casual dating and make sure you don’t jump into anything too serious. If you follow these simple but effective tips your relationships are bound to be more fulfilling and successful.

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