Learn to Love Yourself

Posted by Brooke M.

According to the psychologist Antonio Borello, self-love is a process consisting of six components where a person can achieve ultimate self-awareness leading them towards a happy life and healthy relationships.  

These 6 components include:

  • self-attachment: feeling physically and emotionally attached to yourself
  • self-affection: feeling at peace with who you are
  • self-regard: unconditional acceptance of yourself including success and failures
  • self-worth: know you are valuable and able to be self-sufficient
  • self-knowing: the ability to see yourself from the perspective of your surroundings
  • self-caring: maintaining health and personal welfare

There are ways to practice self-love in different ways to gain personal growth in your life. We would like to share a list of 5 ways to build back your self-esteem after a divorce or heartbreak. Once you learn to look at your life from a different perspective you will be able to appreciate yourself and love yourself.  

  1. Get to know yourself. The idea here is to get to know your personality traits, your core values, your body, your likes and dislikes and your dreams. Write a list out for each of these topics to determine who you are and what exactly you want to have a fulfilling life. It is also a good idea to write a list of your accomplishments and failures to determine how you reached those points in your life.
  2. Begin a journal and reflect for 10-15 minutes a day. A journal is a way to not only reflect on the present but it will allow you to look back and understand your thought process. Your journal will provide you a place to gain clarity and increases your self-awareness. You have the ability to express your innermost thoughts in a journal and can weigh out the pro’s and con’s of a situation without the opinions of others. Think of it as your own self-learning guide for the inner workings of your mind.
  3. Enjoy a solo activity once or twice a week. This can include setting a goal for yourself and carving out time to do so during the week. Doing these solo activities will help you appreciate your own company. If you decide to set a goal, then you should break this goal down into parts so is more digestible. Write down exactly what steps you need to take in order to reach your goal and schedule your time accordingly. Think big on this one, maybe you want to write a book, run a marathon or start a business.
  4. Take care of yourself: not only physically but emotionally. Live healthy by eating healthy foods, getting enough sleep and exercising regularly. Try to do something you enjoy every day which could be anything from painting to watching your favorite TV show. Find time to relax during your day whether through yoga, meditation or a nature walk. Remember it is okay to be selfish at times so make sure you are taking the time to. 
  5. Always listen to your subconscious. It is the voice of reason inside your head giving you advice to avoid self-sabotage. Talking to yourself about a problem might sound crazy but it is actually resourceful to find the right solution. Many people are able to give great advice to their friends on situations they are going through but fail to act on the same wisdom when it comes to their own problems. Borello refers to this as the “Best Friend Test” which is when you imagine how you would support your best friend in the same situation. Using this technique strengthens your self-attachment and self-knowing.

Follow these tips, make these your habits, get to know yourself, appreciate who you are and, yes: just love yourself. Isn’t it where your life growth and success starts? Just try and see for yourself 🙂

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